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i walk a lonely road
alone by myself... `
don't know where it goes...
cold and lonely... freezeing what does that mean?

feel kind of sad alone
never have this feeling before in past
is this life?
the hurt...the sadnesscan it be gone?

they have entered my life...my story...
i changed...and true i do changed.....


i am not the past weakling boy u have seen
not anymore...

now more have entered my story...
different character. different characteristic...
lots things for me to learn out there..blue sky
till then i continue move forward...


problems was starting to pour in ...
the only ways is to solve by my ownself...
i need to face the problems
i not going to run as i not alone...


friends are there for you
before the problems was solved. till then i continue move forward...


check my vital signs ;
to know im still alive
and i continue move.....

continue......
i will not stop in track...
i will not......
growing up
the ones that walks beside me too
new life to face...
sometimes i wish someone out there will find me;
`till then i continue to move...

walked out of inmaturity
lifes starting to get more and more fun...
learned how to make funsoutof anythings...
really learnt hw to make a day out of it

I was not alone anymore
not anymore...


time going by
days by days had passed...

grown up
should be independence...
life was completely diff. out there
things was changing...

mindset was changing out there
now i should be brave....

brave enough to make decision myself
brave enough to face the difficulties lies infront...

i was happy to have friends accompany me to this stage
really nice..

the flower bloom
and butterfly dances
the end of my story..
i'm Jeremy...
Thursday, November 22, 2007

Something to update on my body or muscle weird illness, that time i went to tan tock seng and check but the doctor there could not diagnose anything out, i thought that it was like what my sis said its a kind of mental problems that leads to it as i like to keep alot of stuffs to myself. Come one day my mum ask my aunt if she could be of any help and my aunt personal doctor introduce us a neurology doctor which is in orchard, its a private clinic or rather a very big building where you can see doctor. As a matter of fact, i truly think that he wont be of any great help but still today i went down to see the doctor in orchard. Went in and told him about my weird illness and he said he acutally bump into this kind of illness in 1967 which is about 40 years ago, and i am the next one in 2007 and because he is 70+ years old and with a 50+ year of experience and he is also a lecturer for tan tock seng doctors as well. He was able to said my illness out and it matches what happend.

I'm going to explain what is this illness about. I feel cramps and contraction throughout the body when i was around in sec 3 and this cramp attack come whenever i want to move to do or some movements, it contracted for about 10 sec and slowly release and i do mean cramps throughout but after the cramps i will be back to normal so not alot of my friends had seen it. Later it got worst and i would like suffer it 100 attack per day and it no jokes, I tried ways to control it so not alot of people can see it cos its internal cramps. so the doctor today told me the name of this illness and its " paroxysmal kinesigenic choreoathetosis " paroxysmal means come and goes and kine is movement and genic is from mother and father gene and choreathetosis is keep turning but the doctor said my is dytonsa meaning it does not turn.

Its one of the rare illness out of the 4 rare illness on earth. I mean why am i so down on my luck, doctor said till to now there is still no cure for it and there is only medicine to control my body from cramping, meaning i have to take medicine everyday and night throughout my life. Honestly i was quite sad after hearing it, it remind me of '1 litre of tears' but i know i am way lucky then her. Somehow i got it is because of genetic problem although my parent and slibing don get it but my parent gene just don goes well together in my body. The doctor said it may get better as i grow older and it will be around 40 years later..which is a long time and what if it cannot be back to the same? Meaning i have to eat medicine everyday till i am dead.

Say really i would had never thought this stuff will happened to me, as a result i cannot go to ns and do what a man really do, the doctor will refer me a letter to ns which mean i may be a clerk only and i am not normal.

sadly but its the true. 'paroxysmal kinesigenic choreoathetosis'

Tomorrow will be better i guess~
Thursday, November 22, 2007