ahh crap i hate to say this but i somehow just hate my current life now. Been trying to live the fullest out of it but just cant. I had been trying to change everything ard me, but the more i try to change the more worse it got to and right now i think i totally lost myself in a space i don want to be, been telling myself things will get better after this year but nothing seem to work at all. In my mind i just want to having the urge of telling myself to just go and die off but i just cant..
Is that the best i can do? I am really not sure, just plain tired..

Tomorrow will be better i guess~
Sunday, December 23, 2007

Been doing flag day for quite a few times but last week was acutally a slightly diff one on flag day. I did counting of the money and how they are spit! LOL brand new exprience.

Went back to nvss early but when i called carol she said they are already out doing flag day cos i overslpt! =x hahas then i reach kovan after 45 mins then see carol and get my tin, the bad thing was i met 3 chili padi(xiao la jiao) argh new sec 1 tri-touch members yet so di siao...keep calling me zai nan(house guy) and keep pestering me then want me to treat them lunch...lucky they din go to any restaurants if not i am broke... but afterall they did some entertainments lah at least so wont be so boring...but they really tok back whatever i say zzz...hahas..

At kovan of course i will met some familiar faces lah hahas...i met Sihui, yingying, jiayi and the IT guy from nvss...hahas and they all donated...so nice of them..

Then go back to the school count the tins money and wait for more to come back as some go hougang mall some go rivervale plaza. Then final result! Andy got the most money! hahas zai he got 130+ and i got 110+ dollar hahas but nice work to the both of us. So in total we get ard 1.7k as our members are no longer that much.

Well Tri-touch got 1 girl last time is sec 1 and we all know when she grow up sure become pretty de..expected when i go back after 1 year she really become more chio le wor...hahas but too bad she is only sec 2...she has the charm and aura ya not normal beauty...

Anw guess thats all for the flag day...holiday is already here and i will take upmost chance to enjoy my break then pia my work till school reopen.. and YES i look forward on working this weekend at jurong point hehes...hope can see that person...
Afterthat Expo!..pia even more and xiong for me hahas but i can de! Jiayou Jeremy!

Tomorrow will be better i guess~
Monday, December 17, 2007

Alright Last sunday was Mrs yap wedding, who is my dear dear math teacher in nvss, well was quite sad that i could not attend her wedding dinner and celebration as i was unable to bite well on that day as i have some tooth problem and its also quite last minutes. Truly deep down in my heart i really want to attend it but just cant, and also have a fun time and honeymoon! BLESS FOR YOU AND YOUR HUBBY!

Hmm she is really a good teacher who know how to read and see our minds and understand us although she did her "Special" at times for us to quiet down during class, well I MISS HER LESSON SO MUCH! Wish she can come teach in nyp lol. She was also the first one and only person who saw my tears during the releasing of O'lvl result and i can really see how she feel happy for me. So anyway wish her bai tou xie lau, happy forever!

Some photos to update during a gathering with our diving instructor! Kapo the photos from ah lun as he did not send me LOL. Oh yah and btw he is in ns now! BOTAK!

Tomorrow will be better i guess~
Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Oh..how nice, cant get into slp now. Its 12.37 am monday and guess what? I'm having school in 8 hours time. So much stuffs on my head which i cant get rid off, been so lost now.

Right now i am offically on medication for my incureable disease now, and my flu and asthma is almost done torturing with me and now come my crown(the big and main tooth toward the end of the jaw) aching, and i went to see my dentist and she said the inner part or rather the center part of the crown had decay almost to the nerve inside my gum and it was because i did not put braces when i was young so the other tooth block it from brushing it. ok now how great, i tot she will help me cover up the hole but in fact she say covering could not help and need to do a root canal thereby puting a fake crown or whatever inorder to save my tooth. well i am fine with it but guess what? It cost me 1.2k to 1.6k and as you all know i'm still a student right now and i dont want to waste anymore of my family funds. It make me feel so bad. Eversince this year i had already use up ard 2K for my poly fee and another 2K for my laptop, then when i went to Tan tock seng for diagnose for my disease each trip waste me 30 - 50 and nothing comes out. By the time i get to Candam clinic it cost my aunt 125 dollar just for consultaion, the second time i went back was 70 and i still need to keep going back to get my medication done. Although i know all this money was not from me but i just don want to waste much more money on me already!

I think i had been trying to be strong and a sickless child, and that is the way i am but just my sis said something that hurts me. "Dont think because you are sick so you can give me attitude". I'm not angry but just disappointed, I did not even gib the pale look on my face in the 1st place and there she is attacking my weakest point. I really don want to be seen as a child who is full of illness, i want fun activites thats why i try everything.

Right now my gum in the upper jaw keep bleeding bit by bit as it swell from the injection ytd, what concern me now is that sld i continue the session with my dental?
the full sessions goes up to max 1.6k and now i am halfway through, i had already paid 300+ and my mother acutally want me to pluck it out but i don really know will it grow back anot as i am still young if it do grow back i don mind it, but if not it will affect me. the other part is that i am afraid that ahh...i don want to bother writing it down. I'll never wanted to hate myself nor my parent for the sick body of mine.

For intero. I must really said a deep sorry to Jean tay and Alvin as they had been short handed on work and i am unable to make it to work due to appointment here and there during weekend but i truly hope to go back and help once i feel better.

Tomorrow will be better i guess~
Monday, December 03, 2007